Becoming a dad is a huge change – and when your baby needs neonatal care, it can feel overwhelming, frightening, and isolating. Many dads describe NICU as a place of mixed emotions: pride and love for their baby, alongside fear, helplessness, and uncertainty about the future. 

At Dad Matters, we’re here to support you. Whether you’re on the ward, at home, or balancing both, your wellbeing matters – to you, your partner, and your baby. 

Why your role matters in NICU 

Research shows that dads in NICU play a vital role in their baby’s care and development: 

• Bonding and development – Skin-to-skin contact, talking, and touch can support your baby’s brain development and strengthen your bond (Feldman et al., 2011). 

• Family wellbeing – When dads feel involved, mums and birthing partners report lower stress levels, and babies benefit from calmer, more connected parents (Shields-Poe & Pinelli, 1997). 

• Your mental health – Up to 40% of fathers with babies in NICU experience clinically significant anxiety, and around 33% experience depression (Pereira et al., 2019). Looking after your own wellbeing is essential – not selfish. 

Common feelings dads report in NICU 

• Helplessness – not being able to “fix” the situation 

• Fear – of the future, of your baby’s health, of “getting it wrong” 

• Guilt – about not being able to protect your baby or partner 

• Pressure – to be the strong one, hold everything together, and not show how hard it feels 

You are not alone. These feelings are normal – and support is available. 

Ways you can be involved in NICU

Skin-to-skin (kangaroo care)

When the medical team says it’s safe, holding your baby against your chest helps regulate their heartbeat, temperature, and stress. 

Reading or talking to your baby

Your voice is familiar and soothing, even if they are in an incubator.

Nappy changes 

Small tasks matter and help you build confidence. 

Keep a diary or memory book

Recording milestones helps you stay connected and gives your baby a story to grow up with. 

Looking after yourself

Eating, resting, and seeking support are part of caring for your baby too. 

Support for dads with babies in NICU 

• Bliss – UK charity for babies born premature or sick. Practical guides, parent stories, and support line.  

• Sands – Support if your baby has died, or if you’re facing uncertainty in NICU. 

• Lullaby Trust – Safe sleep guidance for when your baby comes home. 

• Home-Start – Local support for families with babies, including emotional and practical help at home. 

• Dad Matters local projects – Speak to a coordinator or volunteer dad who understands what you’re going through. 

 Looking after your own wellbeing 

• Talk – with staff, your partner, family, or another dad in NICU. 

• Ask questions – no question is too small. Understanding your baby’s care helps you feel more involved. 

• Take breaks – rest, eat, and breathe. Stepping away is not abandoning your baby; it helps you stay strong. 

• Seek support early – If you notice ongoing anxiety, low mood, or difficulty coping, talk to your GP, health visitor, or a mental health professional.