When Eliza and her husband Matt welcomed their identical twin girls Trinity and Celeste, into the world, life was already full of challenges. The couple had moved from London to Bristol, far from most of their family. Apart from Eliza’s mum, they had no local relatives, and as the first among their friends and siblings to have children, they had no ready-made network to turn to.

When Eliza became pregnant, she developed hyperemesis, a severe and relentless sickness that kept her in and out of hospital on drips. The care she received there was, in her words, “very poor,” compounding her trauma. Her pregnancy ended in a four-day labour at just 34 weeks, followed by an emergency caesarean. The twins were born prematurely, each weighing only four pounds, and the family spent two more weeks in hospital. The experience left both Eliza and Matt with symptoms of PTSD.

By the time they returned home, Eliza’s trust in the NHS and health professionals was at an all-time low. She declined visits from health visitors, feeling judged and unsafe. Yet she knew they needed help. The birth had been exhausting, emotionally and physically, the twins were colicky, and the logistics of caring for two newborns after major surgery with little support, were overwhelming. “We didn’t need support loving our children,” she recalls. “But we knew we needed support as people.” 

That support came through a referral to Home-Start Bristol and South Gloucestershire. From the beginning, Eliza found the service “non-judgemental and compassionate”, one of the first experiences of genuine care she’d had throughout pregnancy and birth. Home-Start paired her with a volunteer named Joe, whose presence became a lifeline.

Every week, Joe would visit and help Eliza take the twins out for a walk, a task that was almost impossible alone. He listened without judgement, helped draft a complaint to the hospital, and simply made her feel human again. “Sometimes we didn’t talk about the trauma at all,” she says. “We’d have coffee, laugh, and talk about films. For those two hours, everything felt all right.”

“With Joe, I could talk about everything. He was someone, other than my husband, who understood what I’d been through. My husband, Matt, was also terribly traumatised, so being able to speak freely, where I wouldn't be actively upsetting Matt, was so helpful. No matter what happened before or after, I knew Joe would come, and for those two hours, it would be okay.”

Joe’s visits also allowed Eliza to rebuild her ability to trust others with her children, something she had struggled with after the hospital experience. His reliability and warmth left a lasting legacy, greater self-esteem and confidence in her parenting, and the strength to speak openly about it. 

Matt was also offered support through Home-Start’s Dad Matters project, where he was matched with a volunteer named Jerome. Having someone check in on him provided vital emotional support, especially since Matt’s role in the Army Reserves often took him away for training weekends and working full-time during the week.

For both parents, the support was deeply personal. “It felt like familial support we didn’t have,” Eliza says. “It was unconditional. We didn’t have to give anything in return. It was a gift”.

Now, with Trinity and Celeste thriving, Eliza reflects on the unique support Home-Start provided. “You can’t pay someone to just come for two hours and really listen to you and support you in so many different ways. It’s a service that can only be given as a gift.”

She also wants other families to know there’s no shame in seeking help, regardless of background. “Trauma doesn’t discriminate. Anyone can struggle. All services shouldn’t be means-tested, they should be trauma-tested. Based on the individual need of the person, which is exactly what Home-Start is. It is such an incredible service that everyone should know about or support”.

While Joe has since gone on to support another family, the impact of his guidance remains a meaningful part of Eliza and Matt’s parenting experience, for which they are deeply grateful.