Josh, a new father from Gloucestershire, found himself facing a perfect storm of challenges during his wife's pregnancy with their first child, Lucas. Working in a high-pressure financial sector role whilst navigating company restructuring and possible redundancy, Josh discovered that the transition to fatherhood brought unexpected mental health challenges. 

This is his story in his words.

The pregnancy itself carried risk factors requiring additional monitoring scans, adding another layer of anxiety. As a dad, I was bottling it all up because I didn't want to burden anyone else with it all.

That isolation created a dangerous spiral, I was struggling with work pressures whilst trying to prepare emotionally and practically for fatherhood. All while protecting his wife from additional stress during her pregnancy.

It was our community midwife first who noticed my declining mental state. Over several routine visits, she noticed concerning changes and made a referral to Dad Matters, a Home-Start project specifically supporting dads who have had babies.

This early intervention proved crucial for me getting worse.

Within a week, Mark from Dad Matters contacted me to arrange our first meeting. The support focused on active listening rather than prescriptive advice, creating a safe space for Josh to explore my fears openly with another dad.

It was mainly just the listening for me. It was just being somebody to throw problems at and not trying to tell you, 'it'll be fine.' The way Mark asked questions helped me work through scenarios logically, breaking down my catastrophic thinking patterns.

We had face-to-face meet ups and regular text check-ins - this meant we could maintain a connection without it being overwhelming. I also went to Dad Matters' stay-and-play sessions. Having that support with other fathers in similar situations was so valuable.

The support proved transformative for me. I was able to keep my position through the company restructuring, securing both my job and paternity leave. When a new challenge emerged, discovering at 39 weeks that Lucas had only one kidney due to missed diagnosis - I was better equipped to cope.

Because I was already feeling a lot better, it didn't hit as hard. We were able to just talk about it calmly.

I'm now three months into paternity leave, actively engaged in family life and community activities. I want to return to work briefly before taking another leave block when Lucas is older, maximising my time as primary carer.

Because of my positive experience with Dad Matters, I want to volunteer and help and pass it on.

Josh's story is a powerful example of how effective support can create a cycle of community assistance. If you feel inspired to volunteer for Dad Matters, find and contact your local Dad Matters Project here.